It is true that fetish sites are not something openly advertised on the web. Although most of them would appear as a result of google search, there is more to choosing a good hookup or relationship website that will support you in your interests.
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When choosing a webpage to get to know new people who share the same sexual interests as yourself, especially if you are only at the beginning of your path, knowledge is key in order to do it safely and with the most benefit for you. You need to know what websites to avoid, how to choose a good one, and how to navigate the online fetish world.
In this article, we will walk you through the main definitions of fetish dating and BDSM practices and help you understand what you are looking for. We will also tell you how to choose the most appropriate website to explore your sexual kinks in a safe way.
What is BDSM? And Why People Find Fetish and BDSM Partners?
Fetish dating and BDSM dating are often located in the same category, although essentially they are not the same thing. Fetishism can be defined as any sexual interest towards an object that is typically used out of the sexual sphere. It could either be a body part, such as feet, which is one of the most widespread fetishes out there, books, or items of clothing.
On the other hand, BDSM is a sexual subculture that centers around very fixed roles in intercourse. While one partner – the dominant one – is in control and likes to bondage and discipline the other (that’s what BD stands for), the submissive partner is always one “receiving” the “treatments”. The subculture is strongly characterized by the use of tools to inflict pain, discipline, dominance, and submission, and different practices, from more softcore to more hardcore ones.
This may sound like BDSM is about torture and suffering, and you may also have this impression if you are new to the topic, but this impression is very wrong. Even though one of the partners inevitably dominates the other and submits them to all sorts of practices, the BDSM community firmly stands on three pillars – sane, safe and consensual. All practices are discussed beforehand, and trust is key between the partners.
Some Kinds of BDSM
People who like BDSM engage in diverse practices. They have a fairly straightforward classification. That, above all, implies knowing about the most common practices:
- Medical games. They involve a doctor/nurse-patient paradigm with strapping and the use of most common tools like syringes, mouth fixators, enemas, etc.
- Sensory deprivation. It consists in covering the person’s eyes and ears and binding them so that they focus more on the feelings.
- Flagellation. This refers to hitting the submissive partner with whips or other objects.
- Choking. One of the most dangerous practices that require a lot of experience from the dominant partner, since overdoing it may be very dangerous.
What are the Best Fetish Dating Sites?
Normally, dating sites for people who like fetish and BDSM belong to different types and are directed at various audiences with different goals, from casual hookups to serious dating and marriage. Fetish and BDSM sites have a slightly different character. First of all, they are thematic and have a very narrow audience. If you live in a small town, for instance, you may even know the people you will find there.
Most of these sites are social-network types, meaning that you will need to create your profile and indicate what your interests and preferences are, and go from there. You may find serious relationships and casual sex partners on the same websites.
Using fetish dating sites is relatively easy – you would simply need to google the fetish and explore the options. Choosing the best website here would depend on several factors:
- Number of existing users;
- Possibility of free usage with only some paid options;
- Adherence to laws and regulations.
On fetish-specialized websites, you will be able to find thematic content, the possibility to chat and have online sex with others. Fetishists form close bound communities on the web.
Similarly, when it comes to BDSM dating sites, one can find plenty on the Internet. Typically, a good website will always have an abundant informational section, especially for those who come for the first time. Here, you can also find one time and steady partners, chat and have an online social life. The community is normally also closed, but the atmosphere is always that of mutual respect and interest towards a common sexual practice.
How do BDSM Dating Work?
If you have googled a website in your language and found one that covers your area, you are welcome to use free bdsm dating. Most websites will allow you to register your profile for free and connect with users, but to gain full access to profile pictures, videos and other options you may have to pay a subscription fee. You should only do this when you’ve got yourself acquainted with the site, the topics and the choice of users and you are sure you want to stay. In this case, paying a fee is definitely worth it.
Once there, you will need to fill out your preferences. In BDSM, this is a key part of hooking up. Your profile is a good way to let people know what you are into, what role you are looking for, what are taboos for you and so on. You will need the knowledge in BDSM meaning that you will have to speak with the community in their language. Based on the information on your profile, people will find you more easily.
In general, the practices require previous experiences for the dominant partner, so if you are looking to be dominant, you will need a lot of reading beforehand and to practice on safer activities first. If you want to be submissive, you will need a partner with experience. On the BDSM sites, you will find all kinds of people: couples looking for a slave, solo who can be either submissive of dominant, gay and trans are also common there.
With BDSM, one-time casual hookups are not always an option for real life. You need to speak about the rules, stop words, definite taboos, and other rules beforehand, which takes time. After this, it may take a few sessions to really ease up to each other and find a flow. Both you and your partner will need to have a more or less precise scenario in your heads before it starts so that no emotional of physical trauma is inflicted.
How to Be Safe on Fetish and BDSM Dating Sites?
On the Internet, foot fetish dating is not much different from other online dating options, and therefore, the same safety rules will apply everywhere. Most importantly, you need to keep your personal details safe, no sharing of extra information, even a name and address may be a problem. Of course, most people on specialized websites will have pure intentions, but you can never be too safe.
Thus, the first meetings should be in a public place, and if you are going to an apartment, it would be good to let someone next of kin know where exactly you will be. Do not take any precious possessions with you, personal documents which you can do without should better stay at home. If there is anything suspicious about the place you are in, you always have the right to go away.
With BDSM dating, the safety question is a little more complex, because BDSM practices imply a certain level of danger to physical health and emotional wellbeing. Pay very close attention to the fact that your dominant knows the rules, openly speaks about them, agree with you on what you are going to do during the session. During the first meeting, let someone close to you know the exact location and make them do a control call at some point in time so that someone is aware of how you are doing.